Hello friends. My rantings today are going to be fairly short - I think.
I bring you a poem! Tribute by name. This piece was written in response to another poem I received from a dear friend who has had a bigger influence on my writing than I think even she realizes I've had this work for a few months now, and have finally convinced myself to put it up. I am quite interested in your interpretations of this work because I wonder if I managed to get my message across to my dear friend.
So, please give feedback. The comments section and the email (reisonance@gmail.com) are the playgrounds I invite your words and thoughts to play in.
Enough blah blah blah from me.. Here is the poem:
Tribute
The city slumbers under
the iron fist set by darkness.
A wailing, clamant query
on the sputtering shadow of the overused candle.
A dissonant exultion of
the tiny speck that speaks of a path miraged by the ever-braced darkness.
Beguiling the consumption
of the revenant hope that sits poised. Seeking.
The light lingers,
screaming cold defiance at creeping night.
Jubilee springs. The
forever-orb sets fire to the shadow. A cozy promise to reign eternal on the
wick with no end.
And what did we think? I do look forward to hearing what those of you that have been giving constant feedback - and demanding more of The Shining - have to say about this piece.
Take care of yourselves till next time.
Nic. Out.
I like it.. it resounds hope, quite close to the image of a phoenix.. rising from the ashes.. with a new idea in this case..perhaps a new hair do? haha!
ReplyDeleteI havn't been following for a little bit & was rather sad to find the discontinued story of your debut story...
I like you, still no worries :-)
Keep up the ever transforming work :)
Indeed a beautiful imagery is created of the phoenix but along with it I get a subtle hint of hope, which like the phoenix can not truly be extinguished. Maybe have a look at your use of;"overused candle", try play around with a more human quality such as; fatigue, exhausted, exasperated. Another aspect to take note of is the repetition of the word darkness, maybe give it a more foreboding introduction such as shadowed obscurity for example. Just a little food for thought.
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